Milton will take you to the Hilton

We flew into New York out of Kalamazoo
With a myriad of activities we wanted to do.
Don’t let it be said that we are slow or naïve
We just weren’t expecting one to deceive.

We flew in to LaGuardia at eight Fifty Five
The sights before landing made us feel quite alive
The Empire State, lit up Red, White and Blue
“Oh Daddy, Oh daddy, can we go there?” Asked Daughter Sue
And as the Plane turned, we flew over Mets.
You can’t tell they’re that bad, from one of these Jets.

After landing we went to get our suit cases,
As we waited examining all of the faces.
My wife Grace pointed out a fine looking fellow.
He told us “for One hundred, I’ll show you to a cab nice and yellow.”

We told him we were “booked at the Hilton.”
He brought us to meet, his Cousin Milton.
This is when our great sojourn began
Milton spoke only the native language of somewherenamedstan.

Milton’s cousin, whose name, I still can’t pronounce,
Said, “I have something that I’d like to announce.”
He told us about his escape from the Stans
How he once supported his family, returning Beer Cans.
He then sold widgets for awhile
That is how he started to live in style
Now he told us he’s a tour guide
So we invited him to join us on the ride.
We then paid $100.00 more
Which I thought that was a bargain for such a tour.

He said “I’ll show you all of the sights.
The Belt Parkway at night sure is nice.”
So to the Van Wyck and the Belt,
He wanted to show us how a true New Yorker felt.

Backed up traffic and car exhaust
Finally the great Verrazano Bridge we crossed.
“So that’s Manhattan,
I expected more.”
“No this is Staten,
Across the shore.”

“I know a secret path, to Big Apple,
But first he must stop to pray in the chapel.
After an hour of praying with all of his cousins,
There must have been dozens and dozens and dozens,
We were back in the taxi
My family of 4, Milton our tour guide and his cousin Maxie.

Maxie it seems lived in Bayonne
“We’ll drop him there, we pass by his home.”
Wasn’t he lucky, that this was is fate,
After all we had to now cross through the Garden State.

There were seven of us now in the four seat Taxi
To make us all cozy, upon Grace’s lap, sat cousin Maxie.

Milton spoke of his boiler which was broken,
So we had to stop off for supplies in Hoboken.

New Jersey is a lovely state,
We saw it all upon that date.
We made u-turns on all Jug Handles
And shopped seven malls for Milton’s Sandals.

Finally the Bridge seemed near
All the signs, they did appear.
When our guide announced, “we must go back,
Or we will miss Hackensack.”

So for a week, we toured the Garden State
These three strangers controlled our fate.
Days of jug handles and Malls
Nights asleep in Parking stalls.
And although we never made it to the Hilton,
We always get a Christmas card from Cousin Milton.