Five Candidates in Search of an exit

A Fundamentalist, A Philanderer, A Hypocrite, A Bigot and A Homophobic- a collection of Modern Republicans. Five improbable entities in a debate. No logic, no reason, no explanation; just a prolonged nightmare, in which fear, lies and the unexplainable walk hand in hand through the shadows. In a moment we’ll start collecting clues as to the whys, the whats and the wheres. We will not end this nightmare, we’ll only explain it - because this is the Twilight Zone.

A rich Hypocrite wakes up to find himself trapped on a podium, where he meets a self-righteous Philander, a Libertarian Bigot, Ignorant Fundamentalist, and an Angry Homophobic. None of them has any memory of who they are or how they became trapped. The Hypocrite, being the newest arrival, is the most determined to escape. He is told there is no way out except by winning, which is he knows that he can’t do honestly. The Hypocrite's questioning reveals that the characters have no need for truth or facts and indeed care for nothing in general, except for money.

The characters question where, what and who they are. The Fundamentalist informs the Hypocrite, "We are in the darkness; nameless things with no memory – no knowledge of what went before, no understanding of what is now, no knowledge of what will be." Guesses are made about the nature of where they have been placed: the Fundamentalist speculates that they are on another planet or a spaceship; the Philanderer believes they are in a dream; the Homophobic they are dead, the Bigot that they are all insane and in limbo, while the Hypocrite believes that they are in Hell.

Eventually, the Hypocrite suggests a plan to escape: he will renounce his own successful programs, saying that he never was in favor of them to begin with. The plan almost works. Now even more determined, the Hypocrite speaks with fake empathy for those who have less than he has. As he turns to survey the area surrounding the podium, he tumbles to the ground as the sole survivor of these five unique characters. The other characters talk about him, and the Philanderer says that he may be right, and they may be in Hell.

The scene cuts to a little girl picking up a doll from the snow, a doll in the dress of the rich Hypocrite. A kindly woman tells her, "Put it back in the barrel with the rest of them." It is revealed that the podium is a Christmas toy collection bin for a girls' orphanage and that all five characters are nothing more than dolls. The loud noise was the shaking of a handheld bell which the woman used to attract donations.

The final shot is of the five characters, now seen as dolls with painted faces and glass eyes.

Just a toy, stored in a dark box, where are kept the counterfeit, make believe pieces of plastic and cloth, wrought in the distorted image of human life. But this added hopeful note, perhaps they are only seeking this exalted office for the moment. And the innocence, of the children in the orphanage, will change the Hypocrite, Philander, Fundamentalist, Bigot and Homophobic, tonight’s cast of odd characters, on tonight’s stage, known as the Twilight Zone.

I love the writings of Rod Serling. Therefore, based on the Twilight Zone Episode "Back There," my version of what occurs when three dead friends relive and undo their actions in the Twilight Zone.

Witness a theoretical argument, three intelligent men talking about an improbable thing like going back in time. Although all three of the men are now dead, this discussion does not take place in a dimension known to the living. A friendly debate revolving around a simple issue: Could a human being change what has happened before? Interesting and theoretical, because who ever heard of a man going back in time, before tonight, that is. Because this is the Twilight Zone.

On January 1, 2008, H.R. Halderman, John Erlichman and John Mitchell are meeting in another dimension. These three men were largely responsible for the Watergate scandal. They wonder what would have happened had they had never tried to manipulate the election. In this dimension one needn’t speculate, one can actually relive the past and see what effects their actions had.

All three were convicted and spent time in prison, They go back to the election of 1972. The Democratic candidate is not George McGovern, but Edmond Muskie, his running mate Eugene McCarthy. Muskie defeats Nixon in a close election.

The major difference in the Nixon and Muskie administrations is the environment. Muskie serves two terms, soundly defeating Nelson Rockefeller in the 1976 election. Muskie an early environmentalist, in his second term, works with first term Congressman, Albert Gore, who believes that man has harmed the environment so much that within a few years the temperatures on Earth will start to increase, causing among other thing, the extinction of some species. Muskie pushes through the Congress major environmental legislation. Gore would run and become President in 1988.

Erlichman wonders what happened to other figures in history. It seems that Jimmy Carter after being the Georgia Governor, returns to peanut farming. Ronald Reagan having failed to garner any support goes back to acting. He is nominated for an Academy Award for his role in the Sunshine Boys. George H.W. Bush, retires to Kennebunkport, Maine. There he spends a good deal of his family fortune on Alcohol rehabilitation for his son George W. Bush. Bill Clinton serves two terms as a senator from Arkansas. His wife divorces him amidst rumors of an affair with a young congressional intern.

The country never goes to war in the Middle East. The Berlin Wall still comes down and the USSR still collapses.

The three Ghosts return from a place 'back there,' a journey that made them anguish about the history they had created. They realize that the threads of history are woven tightly and the skein of events cannot be undone, but on the other hand, if there are small fragments of tapestry that can be altered. Tonight's thesis to be taken as you will, in the Twilight Zone.

The Modern GOP

They're stupid and self serving,
Buffoons and quite disturbing
They really are unnerving
The Modern GOP.
Their beliefs are quite archaic
Their plans almost mosaic
They really are prosaic
The Modern GOP
(Neat)
(Sweet)
(Petite)
So get a hat made of tin foil
A man must date a goil
they’ll drill where they find soil
The Modern GOP

GOP Island

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
of a party of the “Blue chip”
The facts they often do contort
While workers get Pink slip.

Newt was a mighty Republican,
Michelle was quite demure.
Five other’s said Election day
Till then we can endure, we can endure.

Romney started getting tough,
Perry seemed so lost
If not for the courage of the Fox News crew
They couldn’t meet ths cost, they couldn’t meet the cost.

They all spent months in a tiny state of just a few squares
With Santoram
Bachman too,
Mitt Romney and Ron Paul,
New Gingrich
Rick Perry and Herman Cain,
Here they can debate your life styles

The Republican Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a man named Mitt
A poor governor who barely gave a shit,
Then one day he was straddling a fence,
Then to him his health care bill no longer made sense.

Insurance that is
For Young and old
Will cease to be.

Well the Mitt’s friend Newt’s a millionaire,
Kinfolk said "Newt your wife has got own health scare,”
Said "Leave her now for one who’s healthy as can be"
So he left for a newer one, and thought he acted cleverly.

Family values, that is
Heterosexual
Three wives.

Well now soon we’ll say good bye to Mitt and Newt agin.
Michelle and them would like to thank you folks fer not living in sin.
You're all invited back again for Fox morality
As long as you never practice homosexuality

Republican they is. No stem cell. Turn the News off

Y'all come back now, y'hear?