Took the LIRR today. Why do people think that it’s their personal bathroom?
Makes me want to sing. To the tune of “My favorite things,”
Girls flossing their teeth, and guys picking toeses,
Fingers that stick in their butts and their noses
Garbage is thrown, they must thing it has wings
These are a few of the Railroad’s things
Feet on the seat, in old smelly sandals
Beer cups and cans, and The Post with its scandals.
The nails that are clipped, hit your face as they fling.
These are a few of the Railroad’s things,
.
Don’t use the bathroom, unless you want rashes.
Prices so high, no money left of the check that you cashes.
The guy’s passing gas, it don’t smell like it’s spring
These are a few of the Railroad’s things.
When the car’s cold
And you feel it sting
Now you’re getting mad
remember you could ride the L.I.R.R.
So nothing else seems, that bad.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Miracle of Hanukkuh
THE MIRACLE OF HANUKKAH. For those of you who heard me tell this tale before, tough luck!! The Miracle of Hanukkah was five brothers, the Marxabes, had potatoes to last one night. Somehow, Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo and Gummo Marxabe made enough Latkes to last eight nights, thereby causing the miracle of constipation.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Impeachment Hearings to Commence in the House of Representatives.
Impeachment hearings to Commence in the House of Representatives.
The New York Post December 20, 2011
Congress decides to hold hearings regarding the impeachment of President Obama!
As reported last week by Fox News Talk Show Host Sean Hannity, Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner, announced today that he will ask for a special Prosecutor to be appointed to investigate the allegation that President Obama violate Federal Regulation D-64827, by pulling the tag off of a Mattress. Mr. Boehner alleged that the mattress was clearly labeled with the words "do not remove under penalty of law," in big black letters.
When asked why he chose such a minor offense to investigate, Mr. Boehner said, as tears rolled down his face "Its not the magnitude of the crime that’s important here, it’s the example that he setting for our children."
Mr. Hamity refused to name his sources, but it is believed that he found out about the incident from as a result of a “sleepover,” that the President’s children had with the children of the Representatives from Congress. It is believed that Michele Bachmann’s youngest child arrived home in tears because of the incident. Mrs. Bachmann immediately brought the incident to the attention of Speaker Boehner. Mrs. Bachmann said in a statement released to the press, that “this is further proof that he wasn’t born in the USA. All citizens of the United States know that yoi can’t pull a tag off of a mattress.”
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter, Elizabeth said about the incident that, “this is further proof of the moral decay that this administration has brought upon this country.”
When asked for a comment former Speaker of the House, Tom Delay, said that he has personal knowledge of both former President Bill Clinton and former Hillary Clinton pulling tags off of mattresses. He continues "I’ve even spoken to a reliable source who says that he knows first hand that while alone in the White House with Monica Lewinsky, President Clinton pulled tags off of many pillows." When reached for a comment, President Clinton said, "I never pulled the tag off of a Pillow!"
The New York Post December 20, 2011
Congress decides to hold hearings regarding the impeachment of President Obama!
As reported last week by Fox News Talk Show Host Sean Hannity, Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner, announced today that he will ask for a special Prosecutor to be appointed to investigate the allegation that President Obama violate Federal Regulation D-64827, by pulling the tag off of a Mattress. Mr. Boehner alleged that the mattress was clearly labeled with the words "do not remove under penalty of law," in big black letters.
When asked why he chose such a minor offense to investigate, Mr. Boehner said, as tears rolled down his face "Its not the magnitude of the crime that’s important here, it’s the example that he setting for our children."
Mr. Hamity refused to name his sources, but it is believed that he found out about the incident from as a result of a “sleepover,” that the President’s children had with the children of the Representatives from Congress. It is believed that Michele Bachmann’s youngest child arrived home in tears because of the incident. Mrs. Bachmann immediately brought the incident to the attention of Speaker Boehner. Mrs. Bachmann said in a statement released to the press, that “this is further proof that he wasn’t born in the USA. All citizens of the United States know that yoi can’t pull a tag off of a mattress.”
Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter, Elizabeth said about the incident that, “this is further proof of the moral decay that this administration has brought upon this country.”
When asked for a comment former Speaker of the House, Tom Delay, said that he has personal knowledge of both former President Bill Clinton and former Hillary Clinton pulling tags off of mattresses. He continues "I’ve even spoken to a reliable source who says that he knows first hand that while alone in the White House with Monica Lewinsky, President Clinton pulled tags off of many pillows." When reached for a comment, President Clinton said, "I never pulled the tag off of a Pillow!"
Saturday, December 10, 2011
A Republican candidate named Bachmann
had married herself a quack man
he thought that he could cure
all that he thought was impure
he should have looked in the next sack man.
From Georgia we have Newt
Who's own horn he'll often toot
he speaks of his morals
and give himself laurels
when with a stranger in his birthday suit.
Out of Boston comes Mitt
to figure him out would cause a fit
when he was Gov
health care he did love
and now he's full of shit
Now dear old Herman Cain
the woman cause him pain
Is it his fault that his zipper
can't control his big dipper?
They've caused him quite a strain.
Let us not forget the man from Texas
Who shows concern for the sexes
he'll eliminate departments
make sure men don't share apartments
if he'd only remember all that perplexes
had married herself a quack man
he thought that he could cure
all that he thought was impure
he should have looked in the next sack man.
From Georgia we have Newt
Who's own horn he'll often toot
he speaks of his morals
and give himself laurels
when with a stranger in his birthday suit.
Out of Boston comes Mitt
to figure him out would cause a fit
when he was Gov
health care he did love
and now he's full of shit
Now dear old Herman Cain
the woman cause him pain
Is it his fault that his zipper
can't control his big dipper?
They've caused him quite a strain.
Let us not forget the man from Texas
Who shows concern for the sexes
he'll eliminate departments
make sure men don't share apartments
if he'd only remember all that perplexes
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