Having spent the better part of thirty years avoiding the City Buses, Subway Trains and The Long Island Railroad, I know realize that I may have deprived myself of a very valuable part of my education. Therefore friends, I will take all of you for a day on the MTA.
I will start our journey on Queens Boulevard. We're going into Manhattan. As I enter the bus I notice the kindly Octogenarian. She's leaning on her cane, so
that the exhausted High School Basketball team can all sit comfortably.
You can learn some colorful language if you listen in on their conversation. How nice the three year old girl across the aisle is also learning these new words.
Let's see what we can find on the back of the bus. Here we find the young lady describing, in detail, on her cellphone, the escapades of previous night, with her boyfriend's brother. She's planning on having them tattooed onto her arm in Chinese lettering.
Whew!! We hit 60th Street, let's take the number 6 train to Grand Central. Although it's a short trip, we hear all about the virtues of Jesus. When we get off at 42nd Street, on the way to the Number 7 Train, back to Queens, I am delighted to hear the lovely tones of the washboard band playing "You're having my baby."
On to the Number 7 train. Here comes my favorite person, the battery salesman. I'm always tempted to ask him if they are included. (Stolen from Steven Wright.) Here's a new guy, the squeegee man. My glasses have now been forcibly "cleaned" for Five dollars.
I'm going to get off at Woodside and take the Long Island Railroad.
"Ouch, what was that!" Damn it, I was hit by somebody clipping her nails. That's all for our short journey as we get off in Forest Hills. I'm walking home!
