The Year is Two Thousand and O Ninety-Nine
The World has long since past time that was prime
But, I’ll tell you a story of what once did occur
When the Earth was much younger,
Ask those who survived it, I’m sure they’ll concur
In the land known as Unim
Our story is set
The land was already, too deeply in debt
For this land that we speak was filled to the brim
With Donkeys and Elephants, whose future was grim
As the page would soon turn from an Ace to a Deuce
In Florida Pachyderms were wild and loose
Very convincing were these Beasts of the wild
They sold the Supremes on forty-one’s child
They needed five judges, all dressed in black
These Judges held grudges, they wanted Washington back.
The Mastodon leader, said all could see
How the Bubbes and Zaydas would all vote for me.
What followed was eight years of war and of blunder
Our nation was near to going asunder
As One passed and Two and Three as did Four
I waited for this Pachyderm to be shown to the door
But this slow tired Elephant would outsmart those dumb Mules
Two men cannot marry, no money for schools
It rained in New Orleans, washed out part of the South
Why should they know this, word travels slowly by mouth
So what good could be said at the end of his term
“Nobody found any blue dresses with stains on them from sperm.”
The Asses took over in the year of naught eight.
With debt well past twelve zeros, was it already too late
With movements described as quick and adroit.
Action was taken, that would soon save Detroit
One day was found, there in a cave
Our Number one enemy, who wasn’t too brave.
But as we approached the year of one two
Came two lady elephants, one with the star of a Jew.
Oh these two lady Elephants, were smarter than Mules
They’d teach us some history, we never heard in the school
Like the story of Quincy, who at nine years of age
Playing in the schoolyard, was the big rage.
You see while other young men, were all getting their grounding
Adams, the younger, was nation founding.
They’d accept only questions, both balanced and fair.
“Where did you get that dress?” “Who does your hair.”
And that poor old donkey, he thought it a joke
But, with these Elephants back in the White House, Unim was broke
So they sold that old white house, to one of their own
And now the Trump White House is what he calls home.
Soon all the restaurants closed down the doors
Followed by gas stations and all other stores.
So now all the businesses were going downstream
All that was left was a truck of ice dream
That’s the end of our story, of a nation once grand.
Now you can tell the story of custard’s last stand
