The Leaderneversawus Rex

How did I find myself before the newest incarnation of the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) ?  

I was first elected to the House of Representatives in a rare Democratic win in the Republican landslide of 2012.    If you remember that election, the only states that remained with a Democratic delegation were New York and Massachusetts.   There was no place lonelier in than being a member, of what was soon to become, the third party in the United States.   We fight a good fight, but since we’re never recognized on the floor, by Speaker Bachmann, our fight has always been through the media.  Now there are less of those opportunities.

Michelle Bachmann left the Republican Party in 2013, to become the first Congressional member of the  Tea Party.    It wasn’t long that others followed.  By 2016 the Congress was Republicans 250,  Tea 165, Democrats 20.   I was one of the twenty.  The Senate was moving in the same direction.  In 2020 The  Tea Party was in the majority.  I was apparent that I was a Dinosaur.  In fact other members of Congress started to refer to the Democrats and the Leaderneversawus.

Then came the subversives list, when this was first proposed my few colleagues and I did what he could to expose it, by a few of us were sanctioned by the house majority.   There is no slander in Congress.    Article I, Section 6, Clause 1, of the U.S. Constitution states in part,

“for any Speech or Debate in either House, [senators and representatives] shall not be questioned in any other place.”

The purpose of the clause is to prevent the arrest and prosecution of unpopular legislators based on their political views.  But in this case the leaders of the house, who had already silenced the opposition were using it to start a witch hunt for those that they didn’t like.

The strange, or maybe, not so strange, thing was the names that appeared upon this list.   Some of the most predominant writers, musicians and artists of our time.   Ironically, they were all Gay, and the rest were Jewish or Islamic.  Author, Philip Roth, although well into his eighties appeared, ostensibly because of a bok that he wrote in 2004, “The Plot Against America.”      Roth in an interview before being sent to prison for Contempt of Congress, stated how odd that he is being punished for warning us of what we could be in store for.

Tomorrow, I testify.  Do I take the fifth?    HUAC has named as Un-American such groups as the NAACP, The UFT and the ACLU.   Strangely as I look over the list I see the NHL.  I wonder what their thinking was on that one.    The NHL, and eventually MLB and the NBA will probably go out of business as an effect of the closed gate policy.  

The United States has become a fortress.   The most recent rulings of the Robert’s Court, upheld two Arizona laws.   The first mandates that all citizens over the age of twelve, must carry a firearm.     The second allowing a locked fifteen foot, electrified gated fence to extend the entire state border with Mexico.    Governor Jan Brewer, not realizing that New Mexico was part of the United States, built the fence across that border too.

Texas and Louisiana soon adopted closed gate laws of their own.   The harshest one is currently pending before the California voters.   In California, the voters will be voting on a proposition that combines a Stand Your Ground Law with the closed gate policy.  Groups such as “American’s for a new Revolution” have been intimidating voters throughout the state.  This combined with California’s voter ID law, which insists that those born outside of the state have three forms of California ID in order to get a voter ID, almost guarantees that the proposition will pass.

Before his arrest, former President Obama, had moved to Southern California, and was disheartened to hear that they suspected that his birth certificate was fraudulent and he wasn’t allowed to vote.

So why am I here.   I’m not controversial.   Although I’d like to be.  In my eight years in Congress, I’ve been recognized to speak once.    That time the speaker thought that I was raising my hand to use the men’s room.  

Before the Government closed it down, I used to occasionally get on the op-ed page of the New York Times.  I think that the last time was objecting to President Katherine Harris selling the naming rights to Washington buildings.   Every day I leave my home, walk past the Exxon Mobil White House, past the Ford Motor’s Lincoln Memorial to the Halliburton Capital Building.

 By the time that this letter appears in Canadian Newspapers (No American paper would dare carry it), I’ll be in prison.   The last four Congressmen who failed to name names were carted off directly from the committee, they’re hands cuffed and legs shackled.  It’s kind of silly, we’re all fat old men, who couldn’t get away if we tried.

This is probably the last time that you’ll hear from me.   I won’t appear in any history book, I’m just an ineffective Representative.   President’s Theodore Roosevelt, Wilson, Franklin Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy, Carter, Clinton and Obama have been erased from the history books.  What chance do I have?  Lyndon Johnson, is only noted for his saving of America, by stopping the thread of Communism, when he embraced the domino theory.   Few people even remember that Theodore Roosevelt was on the original Mt. Rushmore.  The youth of today think that it was always Nixon.

I digress, someday I hope that an archaeologist will uncover the National Achieves, buried under the Enron Dick Chaney building, and discover the Constitution, and realize that a one time we had some pretty good ideas.

The Sarah Palin Comedy Hour

Nobody knew what to expect. It had been first announced on the Hannity show. This Saturday Night, Roger Ayles, the man who brought you "Are You Smarter that a Liberal,” and "Survivor, New York,” brings to television his latest in a serious of innovated, fair and balanced ideas. Be sure to have your sets tuned to Fox, Saturday at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time.


The time had finally come, the suspense was unbearable. A female voice is heard. “Ladies and Gentleman, Roger Ayles, is proud to bring you ‘The Sarah Palin Comedy Hour.’ Starring Sarah Palin, with The Ted Nugent Orchestra. I’m Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Tonight Sarah’s guests are of Sean Hannity and Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney anf musically guest Anton Scalia and the Supremes. And, now without further ado, here’s Sarah.”


Nugent’s Orchestra breaks into a surprising tune, “I feel pretty.” As the hostess reaches the microphone, and joined by the Palin children, she begins to sing:


Sarah I see Russia, Big, Bad Russia, I see Russia and Russia sees me! And I would’ve crushed her If you had only elected me to be VP.


I’m for drilling, Lots of drilling It's thrilling how drilling can be! So the drilling Would have escalated if I were VP.


I’m the beauty Queen from the Bering Strait: I got my make up and clothing for free. Free for a pretty face, Free for a pretty dress, Free for a pretty smile, Free for a pretty me!


I was running And campaigning, I was debating and relating with joy, While I slanderedThe Senator from Illinois!


Children This is my Mother the former Running Mate, The most powerful Mom on the ice She approves of her children who procreate, As long as we don’t use a Birth Control Device.


She should be VP. be one heartbeat away. If she were VP, Noone would ever disobey.


Where we live you need heat Cause it’s zero degrees, We get Polar Bear meat, From our local Hardees.


Mom makes more money nowShe’s on Hannity! Here are the books that she’ll disavow They violate Christianity!


She once was obscure, But now she’s maligned, She’s going on tour Leaving Dad in a bind!


Sarah I see Russia, Big, bad RussiaThey despise us because we are free. Salt Lake City Is full of real Americans, like me.


Children Ma ma ma ma . . .


Sarah It stopped snowing, It is sunny, It’s so sunny and it’s only July, It’s so sunny, That my parka is nearly dry!


Children Ma ma ma ma . . .


Sarah I can see the KGB from the Bering Strait:


Children What KGB where?


Sarah You know that he’d rather be free.


Children Which? What? Where? Whom?


Sarah Free for a pretty face, Free for a pretty dress, Free for a pretty smile, Free for a pretty me!


Children




Free for a pretty me!


ALL I was running To be the first female VP, And it was stunning when I get to see, the expression On the face of Hillary C!



“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.   How many Presidents does it take to get a birth certificate?  We may never know, because he hasn’t gotten one yet.”  The special audience which consists of noted luminaries “Joe the plumber,” Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann, let out a hardy groan followed by a loud laugh.    Sarah’s daughter, Bristol, acting as producer had mixed up the audience’s cue cards.


“Without further ado, let me introduce a great American and a heck of a funny guy, Sean Hannity.”


Sean walks to center stage and immediately starts his comedy routine, “I just heard the President’s plan to reduce unemployment, Death Panels.” The audience roars with laughter.


Hannity continues his famous routine, “How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?  None, that would mean that they’d have to work.”    The audience loves himRoger Ayles is thrilled.  This could be the biggest hit since “The Howard Cosell Show.”  Executive Producer, Rush Limbaugh, is beside himself, therefore occupying four seats/


The second guest is Mitt Romney.  Unbeknownst to eeverybody but Nugent and the orchestra, Romney, with the Orchestra’s accompaniment, breaks into song.


All I am is a Billionaire.
Who will repeal Obama care
With all my perfect hair
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?


Lots of friends working on Wall Street,
Only seen with the true elite.
Another Liberal defeat
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?


Aow, so loverly eliminating social programs like goodwill
We can filibuster 'till the right wing
Takes over on the Hill.
Barak  soon will be history,
 He will have to concede to me,
I am the Nominee.
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly


Sarah, realizing that she is running overtime, immediately calls for Scalia and the Supremes to end the show.  They surprise the audience with a Gilbert and Sullivan tune.



I am the very model of a modern Libertarian.
I know we shouldn't pay for Education or Librarians.
 I know the Representatives and find them all hysterical.
From Barney Frank to Boehmer, I think them all quite Comical.


I very well acquainted too with matters economical
I can quote you from supply side to Reagan's fantaphysical.
With leaders of the tea party I vote for Reds and not the Blues.
My opinion is it is a crime to collect the Union’s dues.
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
I’m really quite familiar with matters that are agrarian.
 Keep your fat ass off my lawn I’ll repeat til I’m an Octogenarian.


In fact in matters economic, political and social
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
In fact in matters economic, political and social
He is the very model of a modern Libertarian

The Battles of Greenwich and Bayonne

The suggestion was made , to me, yesterday that in order to settle the issue of gun control, that citizens of those states that want such legislation stay out of states that disapprove and vice versa. This could result in conflict between the States

It wasn't over guns, but Soda, when The Battles of Greewich and Bayonne occured.

New York Times July 23, 2012
 With the announcement last week that Governor Cuomo was set to extent Mayor Blumberg’s ban on the sale of large sodas, an unlikely conflict has broken out between the States of New York, Connecticut and New Jersey when Connecticut Resident Pierce Wainright III objected to the law, “Not that I care about ‘Big Gulps’ but what next are they going to take away our Lattes?” Wainright asked.
Fights broke out in the boarder community of Rye, New York and Cos Cob, Connecticut. Both the New York State and Connecticut national guards were called in to quell the disruption. Thus begun the battle of Greenwich.

The Connecticut National Guard were dressed in the traditional Izod Shirt, with the Yellow and Green Sweater draped around the neck and penny loafers without socks of course. The New York National Guard were in their Air Jordan sneakers, pants raised to the middle of their rear end with the boxer shorts sticking out and Che Guevara T-shirts.

Talks were progressing smoothly until Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut announced that he was throwing his support behind the New York contingent. This satisfied the group from Connecticut, but caused the group from New York to react violently. Many hot dogs and mocha lattes were sacrificed in battle.

The initial volley in this battle of words was started when a New York hurled the traditional battle cries of “Up Yours,” and “Your Mother!” The attack caught Connecticut totally unprepared, who are now awaiting reinforcements from the Yale and Wesleyan debate teams.
When tempers seemed to be cooling another battle began Southwest of Greenwich, when Bayonne resident, who wanted to remain anonymous, because he couldn’t spell his name, dressed in his traditional Speedo Bathing suit and Mesh T-shirt began lobbing Salty Pretzels and Fried dough into Staten Island. In a written statement he said, “Who, da (sic) (expletive deleted) dos (sic) dat (sic) (expletive deleted) mayor tink (sic) dat (sic) he is. Dis (sic) is (expletive deleted) Amerika (sic), and we’s free to eat any (expletive deleted) we’s want to.

Following that statement, Wainright offered the following statement in limited support of New Jersey's position, " Although I agree in principle with the 'gentleman' from New Jersey, I am appaled that he ended his sentence in a preposition."

Not since the civil war has there been such ugliness between the states.

MASSAPEQUA DREAMIN'

All the costs are down
at the mall today
She dragged me to go shop
on this holiday

I'd be safe and warm
if this were a workday
Massapequa Dreamin'
on such a discount day

stopped in a shoe store
Near the Internet café                    
while, I went to save the world
on my blog today.

you know I left her uncontrolled
with my credit card today
Massapequa Dreamin'
on such a discount day

Now I’m overdrawn
how am I to pay
But she has six pairs of new shoes,
to show the girls this day

wish I didn’t leave her
in the store today
Massapequa Dreamin'
on such a discount day