Tea Party Story Part 1

It started as Romeo and Juliet.

Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim made it into West Side Story.

The Republicans are trying to make it into Tea Party Story.

Here is Part 1.

__________________________________________________________________________

LIMBAUGH: (Spoken) Against the Dems we need every man we got.

BECK: (Spoken) The Tea Partier ain’t one of us.

LIMBAUGH: Cut it, Beck boy. I and Tea Partier are the leaders of the Reps.

BECK: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong.

COULTER: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Reps!

BECK: Tea Partier don't vote with us all the time.

HANNITY: What about the day we clobbered Medicaid?

O’REILLY: Which we couldn't have done without Tea Partier.

COULTER: He saved my ever-lovin' neck!

LIMBAUGH: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

(sings)
When you're a Rep,
You're a Rep all the way
From your first talk with God
Til the Feds take you away.

When you're a Rep,
If you’re caught in the can,
waiving hands all around,
We’ll run fast as we can!
The rich are never alone,
The Dems are feeling disconnected!
The White House is our home:
Congress should be disinfected,
Our money’s protected!

The Congress is ours
With a capital R,
You can keep your Ivory Towers
We’ve lowered the Bar.
You can keep your big Cars,
We are Political Stars!
(Spoken) I know Tea Partier like I know me. I guarantee you can count him in.

BECK: In, out, let's get crackin'.

O’REILLY: Where you gonna find Olberrmann?

LIMBAUGH: He’s on the Mall at the rally.

PALIN: But the District always goed Blue
LIMBAUGH: (innocently) I'm gonna make nice there! I'm only gonna challenge him.

O’REILLY: Great, Daddy-O!

LIMBAUGH: So everybody dress up sweet and sharp.

ALL (sing)
Oh, when the Reps go to a Place that is Blue,
We'll act like patriots through and through!
Hannity and Limbaugh will perpetuate our lies,
The Dems won’t explore, they’ll just ignore our unethical ties!

LIMBAUGH: (Spoken) Hey. Cool. Easy. Sweet. Meet Tea Partier and me at ten. And walk tall!

O’REILLY: We always walk tall!

COULTER: We're Reps!

BECK: The greatest!

BECK and COULTER (sing)
When you're a Rep,
You can own a gas guzzler,
Call the Dems, the damn elitists
How we fool them is a puzzler!

O’REILLY, BECK, PALIN
When you're a Rep,
You're the richest of men:
Little cash, your excluded;
Why earn one Mil, When there’s Ten!

ALL
The Reps create fear,
Our Swift Boats are connected!
The Dems'll will lose this year
'Cause no Liberal’s gonna get elected!
We’re well protected!
Here come the Reps
We’ll fix this election,
We’ve done it before,
They’ll never make the connection!

Here come the Reps:
Social programs we detest!
The rich get taxes cut,
Who cares about the rest!

We'll reclaim the House,
For Coulter and O’Reilly!
We'll control who’ll be your spouse,
We’ll win it oh so slyly.
And we ain't kiddin'!

Here come the Reps,
Yeah! We’ll continue what we’ve started!
Ev'ry Dem is going to lose
This is not for the Fainthearted!

IF Dr. Seuss had written The Gettysburg Address

I started to write this as a satire. Upon rereading the Gettysburg Address, I realized that Lincoln's words are too compelling to belittle. I think that Dr. Seuss would have agreed. So here is my version of how Dr. Seuss would have written The Gettyburg Address. No doubt he would have done it better on his own!
______________________________________________________________________________

In years numbering seven and eighty,

Came forth our founders

On land vast and mighty

with no room for doubters!




In Liberty they trusted

original words could have no sequel

Upon the Proposition

that all men were created equal.




Now its Brother verse Brother

In a battle of strength

Who’s outcome will determine

If this nation has Length.




We are here at the arena,

where many have perished

to dedicate that land

to those that were cherished.




So what we have done

Is

Right

Right

Right

Right

But in the grand scheme

do we have the right

to dedicate this holy land,

while our sons are still a fight.




Those men of great valor

both here and in heaven

have hallowed this land,

better than we can envision.




My words will soon be forgotten

But not many a brave troop

By grateful family, friends

whose loss can’t recoup.




It is for those of us left

to continue the sojourn

in memory of those

who made freedom their concern.




So here we assert

that those lives will have meaning

we’ll free those enslaved

and stop all their bleeding





For now this great nation

will purge its great poisons

For we shall endure

to be governed by its citizens.

Artie from the Tea Party

With apologies to Dr. Seuss

On the far-away land where all were egg white
Arty from the Tea Party was King of the Right
A Lilly White land, they had guns but no taxes
.Stay off Arty’s Lawn. That’s where he relaxes.
The folks of this land had all they would need.
Coulter and Fox News, the New York Post to read.

They did… until voters, decided to elect
,A man whose Pedigree they thought was suspect
“Prove he belongs here” said Artie one day.
“It says here Hawaii, that’s a land faraway.
With this sign in his hands, he took to the mall
It said “Dis Guys a feriner, he don’t tawk wit no drawl.”
“All Tea Party member were born here you see.
There’s O’Reilly, McTavish, Kowalski and me.
We didn’t vote for this man, I know he’s an alien
He’s a Muslim, A Jew, maybe even Episcopalian.

So Artie from the Tea Party, knew who’s fault was his lot
He blamed him for health care, taxes and his basement’s dry rot
Now Arty’s an expert on the books of the Bible
So if he calls you a sinner it’s truly not libel.
‘So if we allow men to marry,” Arty had stated
“would cause this nation’s values to be more desecrated.
”He is an expert on this institution.
Three times he’s been married, three times dissolution.

So Arty decided this man had to be beaten
“I’ll be your next leader.” stated this cretin
But soon that great Artie, that delusional one.
was ranting and raving, cause someone else won.
And the Citizens breathed a sigh of relief
Cause Arty from the Tea Party was not Commander-in Chief.