The end is near for two great species.

The department of the interior just released its newest list of endangered species. Two rarely seen animals have made the newest list "Truth" and "Facts."

Department spokesperson, Pearl Marcus, laid the blame squarely at the feet of talk radio. "These magnificent creatures are about to be taken away from us. It's difficult to ascertain why this catastrophe is happening. They can't be eaten. Everybody knows that the truth is hard to swallow."

Talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, an avid fact hunter himself, in response to Mrs. Marcus's comment. "My friends, this is the way Liberals lie. The truth is that we search for the facts, but they are very difficult to find. It's survival of the fittest, and the fact of life is that truth and facts can't survive in such a world."

The Obama administration is considering the release of a few pairs of wild truths in Yellowstone National Park. There it is believed to have no natural predator. There it is believed that it can coexist with it's cousin, Beauty, that has flourished in the park for many years.

David's return

The International Herald Tribune recently reported about myths surrounding Michelangelo's David and its mysterious magical qualities.

Among others, people around Florence have alleged for many years about seeing a pale naked man resembling the statue walking the streets at night. Rumors began to spread that like Pygmalion's Galatea, David had come to life!

Recently, The Accademia dell'Arte del Disegno, in Florence, inexplicably closed its doors for a few days. When pressed for an explanation, spokesman Rudolfo Laspari, said that they were just taking inventory, to be followed by a short vacation in the United States.

Shortly thereafter there were reports of a naked, circumcised man, walking the streets of New York. It was assumed that the man was the famous Naked Cowboy, for in fact the two, like Clark Kent and Superman , had never been seen together.

At a McDonald's Restaurant in Time Square, customers also claimed to spot the man. Then later that day at the Stage Deli having a large stuffed sandwich. Every day for two weeks there would be reported sitings, with one inconsistency, the man's weight.

Then suddenly one day at the Palm Steakhouse on Second Avenue an obese naked man was apprehended.

The headline in the New York Post read: Man Arrested for Indecent Exposure; Taken to Small Claims Court!

Bill O'Reilly of Fox News was outraged that the authorities said the evidence was too small to charge him with anything, but a misdemeanor!

As mysteriously as the man arrived he was bailed out. It would later be learned that he failed to show on his court date.

Suddenly, two days after this man was bailed out The Accademia dell'Arte del Disegno, in Florence, reopened with no explanation about it's short closing or the strange appearance of Michelangelo's David.

If Dr. Seuss took the Subway

It was a hot August Day
Her scent was “Eau de Pig lying in stool."
On the Train known as “A”
Upon his shoes, she did drool

He was standing
ignoring the underground noise.
When Morton heard the Barker peddling his toys.

- Batteries! - Batteries!

So Morton stopped reading, and asked all around.
"Why is he selling batteries, so deep underground"
Then a women did answer, in a voice loud as all thunder,
“Follow Jesus!” she cried, “or you’ll end up down under.”

"I can’t stand it." cried Morton,. "This commute to the Job.
I leave home as fresh as a daisy, but arrive quite a slob!"

Then he heard a loud crash, the drums and percussion!
"A Marching band," cried Morton, "I’ve gotta get out,”
“They’re rapping ‘Feelings.’ thought Morton, “This sucks without doubt.”

When in stepped a couple, just begging for dough,
wearing tattered blue jeans, but “Air Jordans” below!
"Their sneakers cost plenty, what’s that about?
Yet they’re begging for change, I can’t figure it out!"

"I’m just some poor worker, holding on to a strap
I'd love to say something, I better not open my trap.”

There no alternative to riding this train.
My boss has takes a limo, and he’ll still complain.

There stood an old woman, too proud to ask for a seat.A
young lady a cursing, sitting there at her feet.

And here stood old Morton, upon his commute.
While the man up against him, continued to toot!

“Oh Damn it,” thought Morton, “I’ll repeat this tonight.
”“I wish that this guy, had fewer beans with his bite!”

One more stop ‘til my exit, he thought with much glee.
He'd hoped to avoid this with a Master’s degree.

This is how Morton, begins every morning,
No one told him of this, it came without warning.