Norton Hears the Who

Apologies to Dr. Seuss


On a hot day in June, from Above Garden came a Tune,
The Arena was cool, The sewer had stool,
He was sloshing.....fixing the sewer’s great clogs,
Was Norton the Sewer Worker Prodding Through all the Bogs.
So Norton stopped plunging, he heard a loud sound.
"That’s funny," said Norton, "I’m deep underground"
Then he heard Guitars blast, as loud as all thunder,
As if a Rock and Roll Band had joined him down under.


"I can’t stand it." cried Norton. "This is not part of the Job.
The advertisement didn’t mention this, they just wanted a slob!"

Then he heard a loud crash, the drums caused a cave in!
"Ralphie Boy," cried Norton, "I may never get out,
arrange for the Raccoons to help me breakout.
This music it’s rotten. It’s no way to go.
The Who up above, me drowning below!
It’s their Generation their talking about,
it’s so loud I’m afraid I will never get out."

"I’m just some poor sewer worker, all dripping in crap
I know that there’s an exit, I know that there’s a trap.
I won’t see Trixie or Ralph again I’m afraid
Something smells rotten down here, I should have Brought some glade.”

Crash went the symbols and Daltry let out a yelp.
He was glad he wasn’t Tommy. He could at least yell for help!
But who would hear Norton, it didn’t compute.
Nobody knew where he was, he was merely a Substitute!
Trixie told me, thought Norton, not to work tonight.
I should have listened he thought, and I shouldn’t have worn white!
I know Ralph will save me, The Raccoons will help him,
but it would have been better had my best friend been slim!

Then suddenly as the cold did make Norton shiver.
He wondered if The Who, would play Swanee River
And just as he thought that his future was clear,
He heard a voice, and it was quite near

Leading the International Loyal order of Raccoons
Was Ralph the Bus Driver, singing Who tunes
The Norton said, “Ralph can I make a suggestion,
The Who will not be the answer to the $64,000 question.”

And just as they entered they went sloshing on through,
To join Trixie and Alice, upstairs watching The Who

Presidential Positioning of Politico Palin

Presidential Prognosticators ponder the prospect for a possible Presidential positioning of Sarah Palin after Mrs. Palin posed the position that the President should face prosecution, because his pet poodle Penelope was perceived to have purchased plenty of prophylactics At a Pittsburgh Planned Parenthood.

Palin’s pathetic posturing does not portend well for her in the Pennsylvania Primary.

“Pennsylvania,’ predicted Palin politico, Peter Puck, ‘probably will be a precursor to predicting Primaries in other Powder keg parts.”

Puck opined that Palin may have pulled open a Pandora ’s Box of Politics.

Dr. Seuss's Passover Part 2

To continue our Passover thread
We will follow the route of the unleavened bread
Long ago it was mandated
That this poor soul matzo be castrated.
For in the soup as one recalls
Appear the remnants of his balls

Next we have the bitter Herbs
Oh my Stomach this disturbs
Then the child asks the questions four
As Elijah comes in the open door
“I’m not Elijah, you’re too kind
Your door was open, I’ll rob you blind.”

“I’ll take your Matzo and your wine
Tonight I shall eat mighty fine,
No thank you, no horse radish please
All it does is make me sneeze.”

With that our guest had left our home
And Murray went to use the phone
He first said to Stu,
I know what we have to do,
We’ve no choice my friend,
How much do you have to spend?”
He knew what would change a Jews bad mood
So he ordered in some Chinese Food.

Dr. Seuss's Passover

I cannot eat bread
This feels like lead
I cannot go
My bowels are slow
Oh my god, Please let me know
for eight whole days
The food just lays
I eat a fish that swims in jell
No more Gefilte, I feel like hell
The chicken is boiled
The egg is spoiled
So let me ask question number five
Upon this food, how did we survive?
If I sneak mine to my dog Rover
I might just last one more Passover.

The tale of the wild Mondegreen

YOU AND ME AND LESLIE were getting together for dinner. My SLOW COUSIN WALTER had a suggestion, “DONUTS MAKE MY BROWN EYES BLUE.” Walter and I drank to much and this was MIDNIGHT AFTER I WAS WASTED.

I said “Why don’t we just go home, mom is BAKING CARROT BISCUITS.”

“JUST BRUSH YOUR TEETH BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME, BABY. “ Said Leslie in that confusing manner that she had. “THERE’S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT.”

Before I could get to the bathroom, THE GIRL WITH COLITIS WENT BY. She could take a while. So I got into a game of billiards. I’M THE POOL HALL ACE.

Walter got a snack. He must have GOT A LOT OF LUCKY PEANUTS, because I played the game of my life.

Leslie left, she had no problem getting home because SHE’S GOT A CHICKEN TO RIDE.

Leslie tried to make me sad, as she left she said “EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GUY.”

Leslie or as I like to call her, Miss Beezlebut was often doing things like that. Sometime I believed that Miss BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL FOR A SIDEBOARD.

How would we get home. We had a choice, either the reindeer or the motorcycle. It seems that the reindeer was depresses. It seems that OLIVE, THE OTHER REINDEER USED TO LAUGH AND CALL HIM NAMES. So we took the motorcycle. Since it had no windshield we kept getting hit with bugs. Now, I didn’t MIND DEAD ANTS ARE MY FRIENDS; THEY'RE BLOWIN' IN THE WIND.

When we got home, I went straight to the refrigerator. “WHAT A NICE SURPRISE, WHEN YOU’RE OUT OF ICE!”

Walter’s mom woke up. His father had BEEN KILLED IN A BAR WHEN HE WAS THREE.

She greeted me with a hug.

I said, ‘So ARE YOU GOING TO STARVE AN OLD FRIEND?”

She requested that I play a song while she cooked. I had no desire to play for my food. “SUNDAY MONKEY WON'T PLAY PIANO SONG, PLAY PIANO SONG.”

But she was making my favorite meal, peas! So I played Mondegreen for her.

That night I would SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEAS.