How to spot a Successful Lawyer

"You see a man with his eyes set...
...and his head on a bias and his teeth like a mule's.
He'd as soon hang your guts on a fence as say, "Good morning."
He's a Lawyer.
Proud and feared of nothing...
...because there ain't nothing he gotta bow down to.
Every man tips his hat. Every boy knows his name.
Ain't no place he ain't welcome.
When a Lawyer's around, trouble naturally stays away.
Folks saying, "Hiya, Kid!"
"How you doing, Kid?"
"Come in for a pitcher of milk and gingerbread!"
Or, "Come up here and cool your heels. It's hot outside."
Because nobody don't make no fun...
...of a friend of An Attorney. (Paraphrased from Cat Ballou)

I've been a Lawyer for 27 years. For most of those years I have mistakenly believed that it was knowledge and honesty that would make me successful. I may have been wrong.

How to Spot a Successful Lawyer:

1) Everyone must know what he does for a living. Therefore, he has a vanity license plate that indicates that he is a Lawyer. It might say something like Litag8tor or PILawyer or just the initials ESQ.

2) His initials are embroidered on his shirt sleeve. Why is this necessary?

3) He is the only person, not doing a crossword puzzle, who uses the word Ergo. I must admit, that although I haven't been invited into this secret Lawyer club, I've used the word Ergo.

4) Speak in initials, but bill for the entire word. "I have a PC at the SC with DC
this PM."

5) He is carrying a Yellow pad.

6) Tell a Lawyer joke. Watch him, he'll get indignant, as if you told an ethnic joke. You can be sure that he will repeat the joke to another Lawyer.