If I only had Michelle

I had that Dream again. You know the one, where I meet Michelle Bachmann, who is walking down the Yellow Brick Road to the White House. I long for her, but What would I do with Michelle I had her?
Why, if I had Michelle, I would…

I would chase away the Left Wing
And declare war on Beijing
And stop use of stem cell
And the Gay Men I’d be catching
With women I’d be matching
If I only had Michelle

And to all those who are in the Middle
You’ll all play second fiddle
And eventually farewell

(Michelle)
And you’d show those who’ve been thinking
That you’re doing too much drinking
If you only had Michelle.

Remember Mom and Apple Pie
We’ll bring back the cold war
I’d eliminate those Commies at Peace Corps
We’ll pray in Schools, just like before.

But I am just a New York Lawyer
Rereading Old Tom Sawyer
With multiple Brain Cell
So for of you unwary
Life could be very scary
If I only had Michelle.