The Great New York Earthquake of 2011

Harvey was sitting, dining Al fresco, on First Avenue when suddenly some of his Cabernet spilled. “My God,” said Harvey, “who is going to pay for this stain on my Izod? This will not come out in the wash! Waiter!!”

Across town, Sheila and Bernie, were celebrating their 40th anniversary, when suddenly Bernie felt a tremor, “Sheila, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, I can do it!! There is no need for your mechanical toys!”

On the M15 bus rolling down Second Avenue, the passengers were suddenly jolted. Sol, a veteran of the New York City Buses said, ‘That was nothing. You should feel the potholes on the crosstown bus.”

State Farm and Allstate Insurance companies are reporting record claims for Pizza and Latte stains.

Such was the devastation of the New York earthquake of 2011.