L.I.R.R. Things

Took the LIRR today. Why do people think that it’s their personal bathroom?
Makes me want to sing. To the tune of “My favorite things,”

Girls flossing their teeth, and guys picking toeses,
Fingers that stick in their butts and their noses
Garbage is thrown, they must thing it has wings
These are a few of the Railroad’s things

Feet on the seat, in old smelly sandals
Beer cups and cans, and The Post with its scandals.
The nails that are clipped, hit your face as they fling.
These are a few of the Railroad’s things,
.
Don’t use the bathroom, unless you want rashes.
Prices so high, no money left of the check that you cashes.
The guy’s passing gas, it don’t smell like it’s spring
These are a few of the Railroad’s things.

When the car’s cold
And you feel it sting
Now you’re getting mad
remember you could ride the L.I.R.R.
So nothing else seems, that bad.