Senator Crackerbarrel

Old Senator Crackerbarrel spoke to the nation.
“It’s time that we had massive deregulation.
I beg your indulgence so I can be heard
Too many laws are clearly absurd.
So today with my friend Senator Pill,
I present this new deregulation omnibus bill.

We must first repeal the law of attraction.
In my life, this has been a tremendous distraction.
If we eliminate this by simple subtraction,
we can eliminate unnecessary interreaction.

Number two to be gone is the law of gravity.
Liberals think this would cause an Earth Cavity
So we no longer may teach Isaac Newton’s theory,
of which I have grown very tired and weary,

Since, to our children Sir Isaac will no longer be taught
The law of Inertia is now all but for naught.
Without inertia and gravity a body in motion, can do whatever it please.
It can freeze,
It can sneeze,
It can stand in a breeze,
It can even jump up and up on a circus trapeze.

Lets not leave out our dear friends from Peta,
we’ll do as we please, with the Lion and Cheetah
So the Law of the Jungle goes out with the rest
So finally we can place, the MGM Lion under arrest.

For my next proposal I ask flexibility
It’s time to eliminate, The law of probability
Hear me out without any hostility.
For all consequences, I will probably take full responsibility.

Now we dispense with the Law of relativity
Albert expanded Sir Isaac’s creativity
Let us eliminate this Einstein activity
as we now approach the conclusion of this festivity.

Pass my proposal, start this deregulation
think of the wonders that would befall the great nation.
We’d float all about, without an Earthly attraction
At our own speed, no legal distraction
Animals would no long cause allergic reaction.
The world would soon be without dissatisfaction,
And our success would cause a worldwide chain reaction.”

So Senator Crackerbarrel finished his proposal.
Two men in white coats, were at his disposal.
“We love you bill about regulation,
but it’s time to give you a mild sedation.”

So Senator Crackerbarrel was taken away
So Senator Crackerbarrel was taken that day.
But what did become of the Senator’s bill?
It’s now law you see, it passed Capital Hill.

So the nation now lives with it’s feet in the air,
men no longer give pretty girls that gawking stare
Lions no longer rule that Jungle so distant
and items move by without any resistant.
I’d say this an improbable occurrence indeed.
But, I’d be arrested, All Senators agreed.