The Mighty Curmudgeon

Sit back Children and listen to this tale
About an unusual super hero
And his unusual travail

The Government denies his existence
But I found the proof
with the greatest resistence.
This is no spoof

Somewhere buried underground, deep in a Dungeon
there is true validation of the Mighty Curmudgeon .

Now Superman can fly, and Spiderman can climb.
But the Curmudgeon just feels that that’s a waste of his time.

“Why should I fly,
when on TWA
The Fountainebleau is just
two hours away.”

“ You want, I should climb a wall
what if I fall.
My Jaw I would break,
Oy I’d have such an ache.”

“It’s true, I have powers, beyond mortal men,
but if you want an old man to fly, please call up John Glenn.”

From the moment he woke,
when he took his first stretch
The Curmudgeon would
Kvetch and Kvetch and Kvetch

He could out-Kvetch them all,
“Get out of the Tub,
the Tub is too small
and the whitefish won’t fit
in our shower stall.”

“Stay off of my lawn.”
He would yell at the boys.
“Stop reading that book,
it makes too much noise.”

So why does a nation
all troubled with debt
find this curmudgeon
to be such a threat?

He wrote letters to Nixon about liberation.
Complained to Ford about runaway inflation.
Carter he nagged of the Nation’s frustration.
Reagan he hated his administration.
He complained of George I’s procreation
For it created George II’s complete obfuscation.
To Clinton he suggested he get a castration
So President Obama, without adjudication
made the following secret proclamation.

“We must capture this creature
hide him deep underground.
A place that will feature,
not even a sound

We must avoid protestation
when we capture this Kvetch.
For the sake of the nation,
I’ve drawn you a sketch.”

So they captured this Octogenarian
Charged him with being a bitter contrarian

Now somewhere in the bowels of the Capital City
Is a man, who has garnered, so little pity
There underground, alone in a dungeon.
Still Kvetching away, is the mighty Curmudgeon!