The Republican Debate

Last night's Republican debate was unique in the sense that all candidates had to answer as if Dr. Seuss had scripted it. Here are a few of the highlights.


Perry: “ My name is Rick, Rick-I-Am.
And I can get work for Uncle Sam.
We’ve put One Million Texans back to work
Our responsibility, we did not shirk
So come to Texas for the enjoyment
And like the Million, get a job in the office of unemployment.”

Romney: “ In Mass. We were the first State
To have a Health care Mandate.
When I was Gov. of that Liberal land
I thought that the plan was mighty grand
Now that I’m off to higher stakes,
I say to the uninsured ‘dems the breaks!’”

Santorum: “ Stop teaching this Evolutionary bunk
I tell you that it is all junk.
It’s time to teach our children creation.
Man did not start as a crustacean.
Please folks hold your ovation
For next I will present my plan for curing temptation.”

Bachmann: “May I quote Lincoln speaking to Christ
‘don’t vote for the Socialist, our freedoms he’ll heist.’
And of course sweet Jesus, and Abe then did pray
‘I’m voting for Bachman, she’ll cure the gays.’
So vote for me, it’s a vote for our savior.
The first law that I’ll pass, will control your behavior.”

Paul: “All that you’ve heard will cost money to spend.
If you elect me, I’ll soon change that trend.
No more money for safety, air controllers or schools
The market place will take replace all unnecessary rules.
For pilots will learn not to crash into each other.
What you will learn, you will learn from your mother.”