Talky Sarah

Talky Sarah, a doll that does everything, a lifelike creation of plastic and springs and painted smile. To Senator John McCain, she was a most unwelcome addition to his household, but without her he'd never enter the Twilight Zone. ”

It's The Republican Convention and the Fundamentalists are excited about their new present. As they arrive at the convention they are instructed to run inside and see their new doll, not to show it to the the Senator. However, the The Fundamentalists are stopped by The Senator, as they enter the arena. They are is eager to show off her new present, a talking doll called "Talky Sarah", which repeats "My name is Talky Sarah, and I love you very much!" McCain demands to know how much it will cost him in lost votes. The Fundamentalist leader responds that they have wanted this doll for months and that she charged it. The Senator angrily states that The Fundamentalists do not need another doll. The Fundamentalists flee the room, leaving Talky Sarah behind.

The Senator examines the doll. He hears it say "I don't think I like you", and throws it across the room. The Fundamentalist leader re-enters, and we learn that The Senator doesn't really want Sarah as his running mate and is bitter because he cannot choose his own; further, that it was The Fundamentalist leader who insisted upon "Talky Sarah."

At the dinner table, The Leader coaches Sarah. The Senator becomes annoyed, and The Leader declares that Sarah is good for the Nation it gives them someone to look at. The Senator catches the doll winking at him, while the others are looking elsewhere at the table.

"My name is Talky Sarah, and you'll be sorry"

Left alone with the doll, McCain hears it say "My name is Talky Sarah and I'm beginning to hate you." He replies, "My name is John Mccain, and I don't approve this message. I'm going to get rid of you" Sarah exclaims "You wouldn't dare! The Leader would hate you, and I would hate you." Mccain places a match next to Tina, who gasps. He says "Then you have feelings!" The doll replies "Doesn't everything?"

Finding the doll, The Senator sends it to Charlie Gibson. When The Leader seeks the doll, he tells her he doesn't know where it is. Later, the telephone rings. McCain answers; and hears the voice on the other end says, "My name is Talky Sarah, and I'm going to replace you."

He checks the late night TV and is startled to find Sarah is on with Sean Hannity. He accuses The Leader of teaming up with Fox News to frighten him.

The Leader desperately tries to threaten McCain. The Senator starts to come to the chilling realization that he is not the source of Sarah's taunts. It's something more. Unexplained. Frightening.

Now knowing he must destroy the doll to save his political life, he arranges for the doll to appear with Katie Couric, but her bumbling only endears herself more to the Fundamentalist Leader. He hears the doll mockingly laugh at him.

Realizing he is unable to damage the doll, he coaches the doll for it's big Vice Presidential Debate. As he gives her misinformation, he hears it laugh. He returns to the Senate to find The Fundamentalist Leader planning to back Bob Barr. "Senator, how could you!?" Returning to his Office, he is relieved to see Sarah still there. As he approaches the doll, it says "My name is Talky Sarah, and I don't forgive you!"

Election night, The Senator and Talky Sarah lose. She turns to him and says, "My name is Talky Sarah and I was almost only one 72 year old heartbeat away from being President."

Surprisingly Talky Sarah has now gotten what she wanted. she not only is the symbol of The Fundamentalists. Talky Sarah sets her goals on 2012. She knows she needs more support.

She orders the manufacturer "Make similar dolls to me. We market it as Talky Sarah's Tea Party."

Fate of a Freddie the Flea

Freddie was despondent. His lead act in his Flea Circus, Flicker had flown off. He was also fearful that the infamous flea who had been all over the News, was his Flea Flicker.

He had trouble fathoming why flicker had flown. He turned on CNN. "This is Soladad O'Brien in New York, with the latest facts regarding the fearless flea that bit the President's Dog. The flea is feared to be the famous Flicker from the Freddie Fitzpatrick Flying Flea Circus. We now join Anderson Cooper with Federal Bureau of Investigation spokesperson, Felicia Fender with further details.

"Agent Fender, forgive my forgetfulness, but I was under the impression that the FBI had jurisdiction of Flea felonies in the Federal District since the misfortune of FDR's feline Felicity and his dog Fala were ferociously fed to the Fleas back in 44."

A fumbling Federal Agent Fender replied, "The Feds are still finding facts. We fanned a far-flung facsimile of the Flea to all Federal Facilities. This is just a formality, for we expect to find the fallen Flea in the forenoon.

Fitzpatrick was fearful about the fate of his fearless Flea. He switched his Television to Fox.

"This is Sean Hannity with a follow up about the Flea that the FBI is now following who allegedly made Flea food of Fido. We're here with Ann Coulter, who would like to affirm her feelings on the fate of Fido."

"Sean, this emphatically a foreign Flea from the Federation, formerly known as Formosa. The fate of Fido came forth because we don't forbid Fairs that fund Flea Circuses from farming out their jobs to felonious foreign Fleas flying from the former Formosa. New Flea Circuses should be formed featuring flag waving Fleas from the Flea Partiers."

Freddie fretted and then flung his female feline, Felicia at the foul mouthed figure featured on Fox Channel 44.

He found the Television Flicker and turned on his favorite female reporter Rachel Maddow.

"Fox is reporting that this is a Felonious Foreign Flea from the Federation formerly known as Formosa. I have found out that this is a folly formulated by Famous Fleabagger, Frank Funt. This Flea was found to be a front for Fox and friends." Film of Frank Funt feeding his fat face with a Frankfutter was then featured.

Freddie, couldn't follow this farce any further so he found his forty-four, and with one ferocious fit, fired it at the farce., while yelling the word his father, Freddie the first had forbidden him to say.