The Sarah Palin Comedy Hour

Nobody knew what to expect. It had been first announced on the Hannity show. This Saturday Night, Roger Ayles, the man who brought you "Are You Smarter that a Liberal,” and "Survivor, New York,” brings to television his latest in a serious of innovated, fair and balanced ideas. Be sure to have your sets tuned to Fox, Saturday at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time.


The time had finally come, the suspense was unbearable. A female voice is heard. “Ladies and Gentleman, Roger Ayles, is proud to bring you ‘The Sarah Palin Comedy Hour.’ Starring Sarah Palin, with The Ted Nugent Orchestra. I’m Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Tonight Sarah’s guests are of Sean Hannity and Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney anf musically guest Anton Scalia and the Supremes. And, now without further ado, here’s Sarah.”


Nugent’s Orchestra breaks into a surprising tune, “I feel pretty.” As the hostess reaches the microphone, and joined by the Palin children, she begins to sing:


Sarah I see Russia, Big, Bad Russia, I see Russia and Russia sees me! And I would’ve crushed her If you had only elected me to be VP.


I’m for drilling, Lots of drilling It's thrilling how drilling can be! So the drilling Would have escalated if I were VP.


I’m the beauty Queen from the Bering Strait: I got my make up and clothing for free. Free for a pretty face, Free for a pretty dress, Free for a pretty smile, Free for a pretty me!


I was running And campaigning, I was debating and relating with joy, While I slanderedThe Senator from Illinois!


Children This is my Mother the former Running Mate, The most powerful Mom on the ice She approves of her children who procreate, As long as we don’t use a Birth Control Device.


She should be VP. be one heartbeat away. If she were VP, Noone would ever disobey.


Where we live you need heat Cause it’s zero degrees, We get Polar Bear meat, From our local Hardees.


Mom makes more money nowShe’s on Hannity! Here are the books that she’ll disavow They violate Christianity!


She once was obscure, But now she’s maligned, She’s going on tour Leaving Dad in a bind!


Sarah I see Russia, Big, bad RussiaThey despise us because we are free. Salt Lake City Is full of real Americans, like me.


Children Ma ma ma ma . . .


Sarah It stopped snowing, It is sunny, It’s so sunny and it’s only July, It’s so sunny, That my parka is nearly dry!


Children Ma ma ma ma . . .


Sarah I can see the KGB from the Bering Strait:


Children What KGB where?


Sarah You know that he’d rather be free.


Children Which? What? Where? Whom?


Sarah Free for a pretty face, Free for a pretty dress, Free for a pretty smile, Free for a pretty me!


Children




Free for a pretty me!


ALL I was running To be the first female VP, And it was stunning when I get to see, the expression On the face of Hillary C!



“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.   How many Presidents does it take to get a birth certificate?  We may never know, because he hasn’t gotten one yet.”  The special audience which consists of noted luminaries “Joe the plumber,” Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann, let out a hardy groan followed by a loud laugh.    Sarah’s daughter, Bristol, acting as producer had mixed up the audience’s cue cards.


“Without further ado, let me introduce a great American and a heck of a funny guy, Sean Hannity.”


Sean walks to center stage and immediately starts his comedy routine, “I just heard the President’s plan to reduce unemployment, Death Panels.” The audience roars with laughter.


Hannity continues his famous routine, “How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?  None, that would mean that they’d have to work.”    The audience loves himRoger Ayles is thrilled.  This could be the biggest hit since “The Howard Cosell Show.”  Executive Producer, Rush Limbaugh, is beside himself, therefore occupying four seats/


The second guest is Mitt Romney.  Unbeknownst to eeverybody but Nugent and the orchestra, Romney, with the Orchestra’s accompaniment, breaks into song.


All I am is a Billionaire.
Who will repeal Obama care
With all my perfect hair
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?


Lots of friends working on Wall Street,
Only seen with the true elite.
Another Liberal defeat
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?


Aow, so loverly eliminating social programs like goodwill
We can filibuster 'till the right wing
Takes over on the Hill.
Barak  soon will be history,
 He will have to concede to me,
I am the Nominee.
Aow, wouldn't Mitt be loverly?
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly


Sarah, realizing that she is running overtime, immediately calls for Scalia and the Supremes to end the show.  They surprise the audience with a Gilbert and Sullivan tune.



I am the very model of a modern Libertarian.
I know we shouldn't pay for Education or Librarians.
 I know the Representatives and find them all hysterical.
From Barney Frank to Boehmer, I think them all quite Comical.


I very well acquainted too with matters economical
I can quote you from supply side to Reagan's fantaphysical.
With leaders of the tea party I vote for Reds and not the Blues.
My opinion is it is a crime to collect the Union’s dues.
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
A crime to collect the Union’s Dues
I’m really quite familiar with matters that are agrarian.
 Keep your fat ass off my lawn I’ll repeat til I’m an Octogenarian.


In fact in matters economic, political and social
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
In fact in matters economic, political and social
He is the very model of a modern Libertarian