Coulter the Vulture

With Apologies to Dr. Seuss!

Born in the City of New York,
Coulter the Vulture was an out of place dork.
The City had Jews. It had Asians. It had Blacks.
The Buildings were tall. There was nothing it lacks.

The Vultures were waiting, like Lemmings indeed.
For a Queen Vulture to lead them. One full of greed.

They were waiting til Coulter a mieskeyt for sure,
Decided they needed a racist bore.
"I’m Coulter," said she, "and I know what’s best for all.
And, if you don’t listen to me you’re in for a great fall.
With Jews, Asians and Blacks the City is cursed,
I look down on you all from my high and mighty perch.
My butt that I sit on is boney for sure.
I need people to trample on and poor to ignore.
I’ll bring down a President, and disrupt our nation!
And as Queen of the Neo-Cons, I’ll defend my station!"

So Coulter, the Vulture Queen, looked down her nose
And Coulter, The Vulture Queen, spouted her prose.
She said that those who lost mates to terrorism were harpies
And sycophants like Hannity fell in lock-step like Lackeys.
She should have lost all credibility as you can see
However, she’ll always have a forum on Fox and WABC.
And the Coulter spoke up. She shouted her bile.
I’ll slander the Jews! And Liberals are vile!

"All Listen!" yelled Coulter. "You better move to the right!
I’m Queen of the Vultures! And I alone have seen the light!
Don’t Listen to Clinton! Don’t vote for Al Gore,
John Kerry is evil, Bush for emperor could be my Lore!
I’m Coulter the Vulture! Only I know what’s best!
For I am the brightest, better than the rest!

And all through the Bushdom, she sat there up high
Claiming once and again, "There’s no pollution in the sky!"
Until came 2008, and her ratings were falling.
"What happened?" snapped Coulter.
As she looked down on the rabble.
“ They don’t fall for my babble.
She’s slandered the Jews, Muslims and Poor,
who have I got left to finish my score?
She thought about Hillary, Obama and McCain.
And together they all caused her one giant pain.
My influence is dwindling , said the Queen Vulture.
Where’s Ron Reagan when you need him,
Bedtime for Bonzo was such great Culture!

"Liberals!" she cursed, and then spouted,
"I’m the Great Coulter, our nation will be blighted!"

"They’ve made many mistakes, Like giving Women the Vote.
I’ve conversed with God,
he’s wants me to build a large boat.
I’ll be Queen of the Ark, we’ll leave off the Donkeys.
Instead of two Democrats, we’ll take extra Monkeys."

But Ann had now gone a little too far.
The gate to her brains was clearly ajar.
So Ann Coulter is crazy, finally the masses realized!
As they slowly watched her following sink, her cronies capsized!

And now the great Coulter, the right’s miserable tool
Is Queen of nobody, she’s merely a fool.
And all of the Vultures, must seek a new leader
And hopefully this time, she won’t need a new breeder!